Polyamorous
by My Dear Professor McGonagall
Summary: Lily finds out just how easily James can faint when she tells him she's pregnant.


10 December 1979

Lily sighed heavily, pushing the door shut behind her and leaning on it for a moment. She closed her scratchy, dry eyes and rubbed them. Then she glanced at her watch. It was past four in the morning, and her guard duty with Emmeline Vance had just ended.

They'd been keeping an eye on Augustus Rookwood, some Ministry official or another, at the request of Amelia Bones. She had informed Dumbledore that Rookwood may have had an Imperius Curse placed upon him, for he'd been acting oddly—Emmeline and Lily had been assigned to tail him for the night, and found no evidence of this—but, Lily reasoned, it had been Dumbledore's order, and she'd volunteered.

But God, she wished she hadn't. She was exhausted, sore all over, and even worse, she thought she was getting James's flu, which he'd had for a week already despite taking daily Pepper-Up Potions. And just as this thought occurred to her, her stomach churned, and Lily clapped a hand over her mouth, running up the stairs for the bathroom.

After a rather unpleasant several minutes over the toilet bowl, Lily sat back against the bathtub, pushing her sweaty hair back.

"Lily?"

She looked up, clutching her stomach. James, his black hair even more rumpled than usual, was blinking down at her sleepily. He looked pale and tired, and Lily felt terrible for waking him.

"Hi," she said faintly. "I'm okay. How are you feeling?"

James shrugged. "Reckon I'm better at that than you are," he said with a half-grin, nodding to the toilet, and Lily chuckled sympathetically, getting shakily to her feet and splashing her face with water before rinsing her mouth out.

"Sorry I got you sick," James said, putting an arm around her as they walked back to the bedroom together.

"Unnh," Lily groaned, and she ducked away, running back to the bathroom.

James was waiting for her on the edge of their bed when she'd recovered. He smiled at Lily, but she hurried to sit down beside him, touching his pale face gently.

"You're burning up," she said. "How are you feeling, really?"

"I'm fine," James told her, smiling and taking hold of her wrist. "I'm a little dizzy, that's all."

"Here, lie—oh, no—"

When Lily came back from the bathroom this time, James was chuckling. She glowered at him, going straight for the bed and drawing back the covers.

"Come on, in bed," she said, smiling at him. James grinned, scooting back—then he put a hand to his forehead, groaning. "James?" Lily asked, coming over to his side of the bed.

"I'm fine," James mumbled, as Lily helped him lean back. "Fine, just dizzy…"

"Here," Lily said, stuffing a pillow behind his back. She sat down on the bed, leaning over him and smoothing his hair back. When he seemed to have recovered and opened his eyes, Lily gently kissed his forehead, smiling softly at him, truly glad to be back, no matter how she felt.

"Watch where you point that thing, missus," James teased, and Lily rolled her eyes, getting up and quickly changing into her nightgown. She picked up her wand from her cloak pocket and turned out the lights before setting her wand safely on her bedside table. When she climbed into bed, still feeling rather sick, James was already dozing, but he opened his arms lazily for her to crawl in beside him, which she did gratefully.

"Mm, I didn't think you'd be up for _that_, Mr. Potter," Lily teased, feeling James wrap his arms tightly around her.

"Anything you say," James said sleepily, and Lily chuckled, smiling and closing her tired eyes. Then, a bolt of lightning seemed to strike Lily's brain, and she leapt up out of bed.

"Again?" James groaned, half sympathetic, half amused.

"No!" Lily cried, and at her frantic, terrified tone, James sat up—too quickly; in her peripheral vision, she saw him holding his hands to his forehead, plainly trying to make his head stop spinning. Lily felt a twinge of guilt, delving deeper into her handbag. "Ah, where is it?" she asked angrily.

"What d'you need?" James asked, digging the heel of his hand into his eyebrow.

"My—pocket calendar—the—oh, come on," Lily said, exasperated, dropping her bag on the floor at the end of the bed. Her stomach churned slightly, but she pressed it away.

James chuckled, and she glowered at him. "What about your wand, _darling_?" he asked innocently, leaning his head on his hand as he hunched over in the bed.

"Oh!" Lily cried, lunging for her wand. She waved it, flicking the lights on, and in the same sweeping movement, she Summoned a small appointment book from the top of her dresser, catching it and sitting down on the end of the bed, flipping it open to the page she needed.

"Lily?" James asked after several moments, frowning at her—he seemed to still be rather disorientated and lightheaded, and Lily gave him an apologetic look.

"Sorry, sweetheart," she said. "Just a minute. I—oh, Merlin's pants…"

James gave a weak chuckle, still holding his head in his hand. "What?" he asked. "I've never heard you say that in the ten years I've known you…" But he trailed off at the look on Lily's face. He straightened up, though it seemed to be a visible effort for him to stay upright. "Are you okay? Is everything all right?"

"James," Lily said softly, her eyes wide as she looked up from the little calendar. "I think I'm going to have a baby."

James gave a little laugh, blinking dazedly at her, and Lily bit her lip anxiously. He opened his mouth, smiling and clearly trying very hard to formulate his words. "I—I 'ssumeyou don'mean…righ…righnow…"

And he fainted.

"James!" Lily shrieked, leaping forward to catch her husband before he hit his head on the bedside table. With great effort, for James was heavier than she was, Lily hauled him onto the bed, propping him up with pillows. "James, sweetheart, _James_," Lily said, patting his pale cheeks and trying to get him to wake up. "James, can you hear me?"

She seized her wand and pointed it at an empty glass on his bedside table. "Aguamenti!" she cried frantically, and the glass filled. Lily held it to his lips, cradling his head. "James, wake up, _please_, James!"

Slowly, James opened his eyes, looking very surprised to find himself on his back. He grinned foolishly up at Lily. "Hello, lovely," he said, and Lily sat back, sighing in relief and running a hand through her hair.

"Did I just faint?" James asked with great interest, pushing himself up on his pillows a bit.

"Yes, and you scared me half to death!" Lily told him, putting a hand to her chest.

"I could say the same to you," James answered, and silence fell.

They stared at each other for several long minutes. Almost reflexively, Lily moved her hand to her stomach, not taking her eyes from James's.

"You're—you're not kidding, are you?" he asked, his face unreadable.

Lily shook her head, feeling her eyes fill with tears. "I don't think so," she whispered. James closed his eyes and sighed, covering his face with his hands. "I don't know what to say," Lily said softly. "How are we going to take care of a baby? _Now_? In the middle of all of this?" James was silent for several moments, and a million different horrible ideas of what he might say raced through Lily's mind. "J-James?" she asked softly.

Then, to Lily's great surprise, James began to laugh. Quietly at first, but it soon became loud and rather hysterical.

"James?" Lily asked, starting to laugh as well.

James dragged himself up against the headboard, his shoulders shaking with laughter and wiping tears from his eyes. "A baby!" he said incredulously.

Lily laughed, her tears spilling over, and nodded. "A baby! James, we're going to have a baby!" And she leapt forward, wrapping herself around James's torso, and for a very, very long time, neither of them could stop their laughter.

Wiping tears from her eyes, Lily rolled onto her back, grinning up at the ceiling with James's arm around her. "We have to go to St. Mungo's," she said, and James nodded. "But…James, I think we're having a baby."

James laughed. "Merlin's beard," he said softly. "Wait'll we tell Moony and the others…"

Lily grinned and turned onto her side, nuzzling her nose against James's cheek. "Do I get to tell them you fainted?" she asked, giggling.

"No, you don't," James answered in a very good imitation of her teasing tone, reaching for his wand and turning out the lights with a flick.

"Oh, no?" Lily asked loftily, curling up beside him. "Do I get to tell the baby you fainted, when it's all grown up?"

"Don't even think about it, sneaky."

"I resemble that…"

"You're hilarious."

"I know."

"Say good night, Lily."

"Good night, Lily."

"Merlin's beard…"

* * *

><p>Ehehehe for the Unrelated Title Competition by Taragh McCarthy! (Hence the unrelated title that makes ZERO sense. :) 'Twas much fun.) My title was, obviously, "Polyamorous," and my prompt was, "Lily finds out just how easily James can faint when she tells him she's pregnant." Hope you like! I couldn't resist the silly banter... XD especially considering...and just pause whoa hey right now chill...I am the EXACT age that Lily is in this story...19, a month away from 20. WHAT? Freaked me out. Sudden realization. I wondered why they felt so young to write...it's because I AM THEIR SAME AGE EXCUSE ME WHAT NOW?<p>

But apart from having had a rather heart-stopping moment of "oh god that's really weird to even think about," I AM IN SUCH A GOOD MOOD! Symphony of War got me into the official Fanfiction Idol Competition! BWAHHH SO HAPPY! :) LOVE YOU ALL MADLY!

Lucy


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